It is a fact, bad things happen. Did you plan on getting a new job and had a really great interview, but the position just went to someone else? Did you fail a test or an important exam? Or did you just split up with your partner? Bad stuff happens. To all of us. At the worst possible time and in the worst possible way usually. After such a painful situation we are hurt, frustrated, sad, angry, devastated, frustrated some more or simply left speechless.
This happened to me quite often, and I always thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse - but somehow it managed to do exactly that. But after countless of those struggles I found a way to deal with situations like this, because you can still choose to be happy. Don’t get sucked into that black hole of sadness.
How do I know? I was struggling over and over in my life, and I missed a lot of opportunities, but I also managed to miss opportunities because of laziness or lack of self-esteem or confidence. Yes, I had my fair share of shitty times in my life, but now, I’m (most of the time) a happy person. If I’m not, I will make sure that I follow the tips below. I sincerely hope I can help you with my 8 secrets to happiness.
#1 It is ok to feel sad.
It is ok to feel sad - and so you should. It is all about the timeframe. Take your time to feel sad and embrace that feeling for a while. But sadness is a dead end. It takes you nowhere.
I would recommend starting a journal and describing your feelings day after day - and you will soon find out, that they will change from day to day. At one point you will be able to see light at the end of a long tunnel. And that it is time to exit your tunnel of sadness. Straight away.
#2 Roll up your sleeves.
Don’t wait or rely on somebody to help and rescue you from your situation. You have to rely on yourself. So roll up your sleeves and fight back. Don’t just wait and feel sorry for yourself, or wait for anything positive to happen out of nowhere. Go out, do something and get your mind off the things that bother you or make you sad. Work towards a more positive future and don’t get destroyed on your way. Remember that procrastination is your worst enemy.
#3 Don’t compare yourself to others.
Some of your friends seem to have all the luck in the world. They seem to be happy and nothing bad ever happens to them? I know this feeling can be annoying, but there is no “better” or “luckier” at all. Focus on your life and not someone else’s. This path takes you nowhere.
#4 Stop over-thinking and worrying about everything.
This is one of my biggest problems: Thinking too much. If you worry about anything, you look way too deep into things - this will create even more problems and it certainly doesn’t fix any them. Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, but it takes away today’s peace as well as potential to solve them. I have to consciously remind myself to stop worrying and focus on the positive things instead. It simply comes down to this: Life is too short to worry.
#5 Believe in yourself.
I know this seems corny, but you should always remember: If you can dream it – you can do it. You don’t have to hide your light under a bushel. You can achieve anything when you really want to achieve it. The sky is the limit. And if the Apollo missions weren’t faked after all – then not even that is the case. When you want something you will find a way to do it. Period.
#6 Be grateful.
Even if it is exceptionally hard at times, it is important to enjoy the little things in life: Some lovely flowers, a beautiful building, a little cat seeking your attention, a smile. These are all things you should be grateful for. Don’t overlook them during the hard times. You will have a tough time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life at this moment.
#7 Live in the present.
You can’t change what you refuse to confront. Don’t think about how things where in the past or how you where in the past. This doesn’t matter anymore. You live in the here and now and people and things change – and so do you. You won’t find any peace by avoiding this fact. You learned your best life lessons from the worst mistakes you made in the past. So go on and be ready for the future.
#8 Choose Happiness.
Yes, happiness is a choice. Even if it sometimes sounds like a massive joke, it is almost scary how true it is. Yes, you have all the right in the world to be miserable and feel sorry for yourself for what happened to you. But there is also that part of you that will scream instantly: “I want to be happy and full of energy again.” This scream will show you the way out of your sadness. You just have to follow it. Even if it takes some time – it is worth it.
Don’t forget: TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life. So go on and start being happy again.
How do you overcome sadness or anger? Please leave me a comment below. I’m looking forward to discussing this fascinating topic with you.
Lots of happiness,